Root of all Evil

No this isn't an entry about me, or chocolate, or even one of the 7 deadlies (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_deadly_sins).

Through countless conversations with a wide variety of people, I have come to the very scientific conclusion that 95% of the world's divorces are caused by one of two things, and they aren't what you think.


During the course of any relationship where you are living together, there are ups and downs.  He's a hoarder, you're a pitcher. You fold the laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer, he wears it out of the laundry basket. Children get sick, parents come for unexpected extended visits, one of you has an office flirtation, the cat pukes all over the couch right before your real estate agent brings in potential buyers, you know: Life happens.

You weather these storms together, working through them, coming out stronger on the other side.  Maybe you need some counseling to move past some of the harder things, but in the end you are more connected as a couple, stronger in your love and confident that having come through the fire, nothing can break the iron bond you've forged.

Then, shaking your relationship to it's cornerstone comes issue one: The Dishwasher.

In my conversing with fellow humans (women AND men), this can put a greater strain on a relationship than anything else.  In fact, I'm fairly certain that it accounts for more divorce filings than people think, but there's no box to check on the papers and people are too embarrassed to say that's why they're throwing 25 years of marriage out the window.

I'm going to point the finger at the men on this one, but am in no way unaware that there are women who fit this mold too.

Most men can Tetris the entire first floor of your home into the 5X3 space in the back of a small SUV, but these same men can't get more than five plates, a spoon and three glasses into a regular sized dishwasher.
"Honey, the dishwasher is full."  That's not possible, it's breakfast time and it was emptied this morning.  Opening the washer you find that there are three cereal bowls flat on the top rack and two small juice glasses. The cutting board an oatmeal pot and four spoons fill the bottom rack.

There's no more room in the dishwasher.

Now not to brag, but I can get dishes from an entire Thanksgiving dinner for eight into my dishwasher, serving platters included (but minus pots).  And our dishwasher isn't full sized, almost, but not quite.

I guess these people should take into consideration that the opposite would be worse.  Filling the washer with so many dishes that the water can't circulate and nothing actually gets clean.  Nothing sucks more than pulling out dish after dirty dish that now needs to be hand-washed to get the baked on stuff off.

I can see how this would be a frustrating situation and could cause some disharmony in a relationship.

(As an aside, the thing that makes me mental is people who wash their dishes first, and then put them in the dishwasher.  Now rinsing off rice and small food particles is fine, but as soon as you add either soap, a cloth or a scrubby, you're an idiot.).

Now the second biggest cause of discord is......The Tupperware Cupboard.

Added simply for nostalgia.
We had these exact ones and yes
they are actually that ugly in real life.

NOT my cupboard at home, but close!

This is usually a large cupboard with high shelves that are most likely impossibly designed for any useful storage, so it becomes the catch all and plastic container corral (I don't want to be prejudice towards the copyrighted originators, but everyone calls the damn stuff by the generic identifier).

In my personal cupboard of insanity, I try very hard to keep it tidy, but I swear to God the damn stuff jumps around by itself once the door closes.

I stack all my same size, same shape, same brand (because you're fucked if you try to mix Ziploc and no name tops and bottoms together).  All the round ones together, nestled, then the lids on top.  Same for square, rectangle, diamond, trapezoid etc.  This way (in theory), when you grab a medium round, the lid should be stacked on top and they go off in happy leftover saving contentment.

So where's the problem you ask? Well, once you've used them and washed them, they require CONSTANT organizing in order to remain in any type of visual continuity.

How many times have you just thrown in a couple of pieces and thought, "I'll put them back properly later?"  Then you go to open the cupboard and a tsunami of mis-matched, non-biodegradable plastic containers.....where none of the lids match....pins you to the floor.

Help, I'm under here somewhere.
Oh wait, there's the lid I was looking for!

This cupboard is a constant battleground, both literally and figuratively in my house.  Literally because it makes my S.O. MENTAL! He hates it, even when it's all neat and tidy I know he hates it.  I do too but I'm not sure what people did prior to 1946 with their leftovers.  Actually, upon reflection, I guess during the "war years" there weren't leftovers.  There wasn't even butter as everything was rationed.

 I wonder if Crown Royal qualified
as a "rye product"?

And this time I actually have, for almost a month.  Pretty impressive huh?  Go ahead, bask in my awesomeness for a moment.....okay, stop.  You're not leaving enough awesomeness for me.

So there you have it.  The two secret reasons that couples actually break up: Tupperware Tsunami's and Dishwasher Dishabille.

Mel

And for no reason, here's a clip of the Honey Badger: 

It's badass.